Chivalry Is Red
by alyssatye
Summary: Red was the first thing Karkat saw when his eyes snapped open. That coupled with the searing pain made it take a few seconds for the dazed troll to realize he in fact wasn't dead, but beaten and chest deep in plush God Tier pajamas. A crashing landing twist to the 4/13/13 flash update. Enjoy!


Red was the first thing Karkat saw when his eyes snapped open. That coupled with the searing pain made it take a few seconds for the dazed troll to realize he in fact wasn't dead, but beaten and chest deep in plush God Tier pajamas. Apparently the two knights had crash landed along the side of a steep mound and barrel rolled their way into this tangled situation. Luckily barely missing the rock formations and finally stopping in small clearing at the bottom of the incline. The pounding in his head finally receded just as he came to the horrible realization that Dave and he were pancaked closer together than bread on a grilled hoofbeast juice sandwich.

Panic crept up Karkat's throat and rested as lump his stomach. Dave's strained breaths brush softly on Karkat's bangs as the male's chest slowly heaved beneath the troll. Dave chest was hard and rigid beneath the fabric clenched in his claws. Karkat glanced up and found Dave's eyes still squeezed shut beneath loosely hanging shades. Suddenly Karkat realized he was caught staring as blonde eyebrows furrowed together and one ruby eye snapped open.

"Oh fuck." Karkat stammered, scrambling to recollect his limbs. But before he could even straighten himself up completely a hand shot up and gripped his forearm. He immediately stilled.

"Shit, easy dude are you trying to put a hole through my lungs? Just," Dave paused to ease himself up, his head hanging low and slowly rising to meet Karkat before he looked up and continued, "Let me make sure I'm all in one piece first okay?"

Karkat flushed, wanting to be at the furthest ring from that given moment.

'Well fucking sorry we got our useless asses handed to us by an omnipotent rabid insane dog witch and my big rear troll hind landed on your precious fragile sack of human bones!' Karkat was all too aware of how close they are and the dangerous proximity of their groins. If there was a cave nearby on that god awful planet, he would much preferably crawl his way in it and promptly die.

Dave lets out a groan and rolls his neck, a slight tan line peeking out from the edges of his collar. Cocking one eyebrow at the clearly fluttered troll, Dave let go of him to straighten his glasses.

"Well you're fucking welcome for being your personal plush landing cushion." Dave's gritted teeth slowly turned into a grin, "You know this never would have happened if you just let me carry you away, Princess" He couldn't help but tease the troll even despite their situation. Getting a reaction out of Karkat was something he almost enjoyed as much as fresh glass of AJ.

"Shut the fuck Strider." Karkat huffed out, "Suck it up you wiggling and let us solemnly swear to pretend this bro time never happen and let's go find the others. Who knows where they are on this shitty planet by now!" Inwardly Karkat thanked the horror terrors the others are nowhere in sight to witness the tangled clusterfuck they were in.

"Well after you your majesty." Dave said with a grin, and gestured that he was still lap-full of small flushed angry troll.

Karkat's cheeks burned and let out a string of curses as he hurriedly pushed himself away from Dave chest. Bodies quickly shifted and in his haste Karkat's growl was cut short when suddenly his groin ground itself flushed up against Dave's thigh.

Karkat gasped, slapping his hands over his mouth and nearly fell back on to Dave's chest as blood rushed downward and pooled in his stirring bulge. Both of them froze. Karkat violently prayed the dog witch would appear zap him out of existence right then and there. He did not dare move a muscle. He did not breathe, until suddenly Dave presses his knee up against him again.

"Ah st-" Karkat gasped between his fingers but quickly squeezed them shut as Dave continued his assault, rubbing him through the fabric of his jeans.

Dave ran his tongue along his dry lips. Eyes focused on Karkat's expression. The way his eyes squeezed shut and the adorable noises that came out of him. He took back what he thought earlier. Getting that kind of reaction out of Karkat was better that the freshest apple juice in both their universes. He watched the troll wither above him with every moment he made. How Karkat manages to get them caught up in these positions is beyond him but this having hot blooded troll behaving like this because of him was not something he was complaining about.

Karkat moaned behind clenched fingers as he tried to resist from bucking into the friction. His face burned in humiliation as he finally gained enough control to reach out and grip Dave's shoulders.

"W-what the fuck are you doing Strider?" Karkat finally managed to catch his voice. But his heart was still beating furiously.

Dave's face was unreadable, his nervousness only given away by the parting and closing of his lips. Silence passed through them as Karkat's soft pants filled the space between them. Karkat's mouth went dry as he watched Dave's Adam's apple bob up and down his throat hypnotically. Karkat breaths grew heavier and his mind slowly becomes a haze. Finally he shifts his hips closer, hot and bother and too impatient to care.

"Well hurry up and finish what you started asshole!" Karkat growled as he presses himself flush against Dave's pelvis, victoriously earning a groan from the stone faced Strider. Dave rolls his head back, showing off more of that delicious throat and Karkat wets his lips.

Suddenly Karkat is taken back as Dave's head whips back up, red eyes flaring, burning beneath those shades. And that shit eating grin all but makes blood boil in the troll's bottom half.

"Whatever you say, your highness." Dave drawls before pulling the gaping troll into a hot and heavy kiss.

_…MEANWHILE IN THE NOT SO FAR DISTANCE..._

"Aha hehe *snort* yuo gO bro!"

"Rose, please be quiet."

Two curious ladies are crouching behind one of the red rock formations not too far from their own soft landing site. The two have been watching the two knights engage one another for quite a while and Rose is failing to keep her cheering to a soft whisper much to Kanaya's dismay.

"AwwOooo yEAH Daev touch teh butt!"

"I cannot possibly believe you are still high on that human soper even after the conundrum we were put through."

"Shhhh shhhh-PFFT SH Kankan I'm tryinp to wotch the butt tuoching."

Kanaya pitches her brows and tried not to sigh heavily even though her last ounce of patience was running dry. The sexual tension between the human boy and their angry leader has made the last 3 years on the meteor interesting enough if not much entertaining. Kanaya turns her head back to the display of dissolving sexual needs, her auspicstic senses flaring.

Suddenly both parties are interrupted as a loud call echoes from over the hill.

"HELLOOOOOO? IS ANYBODY STILL ALIVE?" Terezi stalks over the top of the hill to find the four hormonally enraged teens.

Dave and Karkat pull apart and whip their heads towards the intruding sound only to freeze solid at the sight of a drunk ecto-sister giving two thumbs up next to her face palming girlfriend and a not so blind girl gaping back at them.

Karkat's face reaches nuclear level as Dave goes ghostly pale. Both feel like they'd rather be experiencing a heart attack at the moment. Kanaya had swiftly gotten up and began dragging a reluctant Rose to meet the troll girl snorting at the top of hill.

"Well, well, well, have Mr. and Mr. Strider Vantas had a lovely honeymoon on the Land of We Are Still In Deep Bull and Shit?" The biggest 'you just got so massively cock blocked' sneer cracks from Terezi's face. Still chuckling she puts her hands on her hips and calls back down to the boys.

"Come on you homosexuals we got some butt to kick so get your plush rumps in gear and move out!" Terezi huffs out with a grin still on her face. Pants on and sober she was up for the fight. Pants unzipped and flustered the two red blooded males were not to say the least.

"See you guys on the other side! And try to keep up!" The dragon cape twirls as the girls disappear over the mound.

Dave turns back to Karkat slowly recovering from the initial shock, lips still pressed into a thin line. His boner had pretty much completely died by the time his ecto-sister began making gang signs at them. Karkat was worst to wear, red faced and shaking, muttering out incoherent noises as he was still in shock and staring at the top of the hill where his ex-matesprit crush had disappeared.

Dave felt a sting of annoyance, though not entirely sure why. Finally he closes his eyes and lets out a loud a sigh snapping Karkat out of his hysteria.

"Well duty calls." Rose and Terezi were never going to let him live this one down but for the moment he'll decide to play it cool.

With a peck on the lips he zips up Karkat's pants and in one smooth motion scoops up the troll boy in his arms bridal style. If he is going to lose his rep anyways might as well pull out the knight in shining armor card and woo the motherfucking pants off his best friend.

"What do you think you're doing?! Put me down you stupid festering pile of horse shit!"

Dave thinks to himself chuckling beneath his breath, 'Who says chivalry is dead?'

"Not this time, princess." Dave says out loud, silencing Karkat with his lips one last time before taking off, ignoring what he knew where halfhearted punches as they flew over the horizon to meet the others.

* * *

**AN**_: silently wails as I finish my first fanfiction. Not surprisingly I have a problem and that problem is DaveKat. Hope someone actually reads this, cries into the sun. Goodbye friends I am gone. _

_-Alyssa T. _

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